Consumption: Guilt, Resentment, and Regret


The energy in life required for fulfilling one’s endeavors and maintaining innovative solutions for #challenges that arise can be stifled by thought and emotion. These emotions and thoughts can create #resistance to motivation and to clarity if unidentified and/or #unresolved. In a world that bases its conditional beliefs on #RightVsWrong, the experience of #guilt, #resentment, and #regret is frequent. The opportunity to process perceptions and re-align ones understanding to release the drain of these foundational beliefs in order to influence #growth with liberating #wisdom is often lacking. It requires the application of #CompassionateCommunication with self and with others. Guilt, resentment, and regret are negative forms of reinforcement in the mind. They take more than they offer when viewed from a map of possibility in skill development that engages motivation instead of #inertia. While these negative re-enforcers do promote a sense of empathy for others and #conscientiousness of self for ones role or effect in an experience, positive re-enforcers such as seeking understanding, #ActsOfForgiveness, and #HarmonicResolutions for future similar contexts, open the mind and heart to be inspired.

Inspiration naturally invokes a sense of vitality to engage with life and an individual’s connection with endeavors and with others. #Guilt, #resentment, and #regret imprison the #PowerOfMotivation and decrease one’s self esteem when it comes to capability, living forward #BeyondLoss, and a healthy balance of #accountability with self and others. Guilt, resentment, and regret all originate from the “#JudgeAndVictim” narrative that superimposes itself on an individual’s sense of #willpower. This is not compassionate communication, which seeks understanding and authenticity of one’s intention, without blame or shame, and consults a #PathToResolution that is chosen with the goal of mutual #empowerment. #MutualEmpowerment enables inspiration to move beyond #inertia and to motivate ones will to choose differently for more fulfilling outcomes.

The perception of one’s “quality of life” can shift dramatically depending on the view of self as a part of this life. The less capable one feels the less effort is generated by the will to progress or even maintaining life at all. #Depression and outrage are common digressions for depleted inspiration, self-esteem, and the will to learn. These digressions are a red flag that our emotions and thoughts imprinted by the experience of “#JudgeAndVictim” roles have welded a sense of #entrapment an individual is resigned to or rebelling against. To resolve #depression and outrage one must seek a new template for perceptual deduction that aligns with the #liberation of the #Victim within and reframes the #Judge mentality to the role of a “#CompassionateGuide.” Active refinement of language in how one speaks to themselves is the first step to offering a more compassionate language with others. Examples may be similar to the following:

Judge: ”Why are you always messing things up?”

Guide: “What is it that you cannot give yourself? Do you feel worthy?”

Judge: “Why do you have to react like that?”

Guide: “Why did you react? Does your reaction fit the moment? How can you respond instead of react?”

Judge: “You deserve this.” “I don’t deserve this.”

Guide: “Based on your intention: Do you deserve this? How can you learn from this outcome? Can you change it now or in the future to have a different, more fulfilling or appeasing outcome for all involved?”

In cultures and families across the world there are varying degrees of unhealthy reinforcement. The age of the individual, family fracturing, and institutional impressions have influenced a learning environment that calls for striving beyond the dissonance in order to achieve the feeling of wholeness in one’s mind, heart, and spirit, which signifies the potential of hierarchical brain development. Humans have been evolving greater use of the prefrontal lobes in the brain that have the capacity to shift the directive of the mind to learn vicariously, refine understanding, to create, and to choose differently. This means that healing imprints learned from experiential awareness throughout one’s life is possible and may be used as a tool to purge the binds of #guilt, #resentment, and #regret, or any other stuck emotions an individual suffers from. In the #PatanjaliSutras, a sage is quoted as saying “The pain is inevitable, the #suffering is an option.” Quality of life is sustained and expanded by one’s capacity to grasp the teachings and allow thoughts and emotions to inform one from a place of guidance and curiosity to create more successful outcomes, instead of the confining judgments that demand consequential suffering from oneself or others.

The #CompassionateGuide within may be likened to a merciful god or to a #LovingParent capable of being fully present as an extension of oneself. Even if the belief in a God or the existence of this benevolent parent is not a part of an individual’s narrative, the desire for this loving embrace and guidance exists in each of us because the “#InnerChild” still lives on as a part of the subconscious self. #GuiltIsAPunishment to the inner child creating a victim experience by self or others and leaves a stigma until resolved. If guilt is left unresolved the stigma deepens, carving out a sense of self-doubt that mires healthy confidence. Resentment is consuming of one’s life force, muddles mental emotional clarity, and blocks the path to #ResolutionAndClosure. When resentment lingers unresolved it begins to shut down the function of resourceful innovation and creativity, resulting to inertia that may affect a multitude of aspects in one’s endeavors in life. Regrets are the empty shells of #unresolved emotion and lack fulfillment in choices taken or never embarked upon. The residue of regret can immerse one so deeply that vitality withers and motivation for dreaming forward fades. Regret is a stalemate in the mind that reveals the outcome of an #InnerConflict that has been given the power to rule one’s life and perceptions of self, limiting the experience of self-acknowledgment and #gratitude for what one has fulfilled. The more regrets, the less fulfilled one has allowed themselves to be.

All of these components that weaken one’s ability to #PreserveVitality, inspiration for fulfillment, and quality of life may be consuming to the point of manifesting disease in the physical body. As #vitality wanes in the presence of parasitic emotions and regeneration of inspiration for life endeavors reduces, the body follows suit with the mental emotional directive. In order to perpetuate one’s potency of will and #OpennessToLife through learning and connection, attention to how one communicates with self and others is essential. When the perceptions of guilt, resentment, and regret arise the act of choosing to #BeCurious, to understand oneself and others, and to #SeekLiberation through #wisdom for creative solutions will lead the way to #NewParadigms in thought, emotion, and choices in #LifeBeyondJudgment and victimization. Embrace your inner child with loving guidance and release limitations binding vitality. Choose compassionate #forgiveness to allow receptivity for creative resolve. Seek a quality of life that inspires gratitude and embodies #NoRegrets.

Excerpts from the Writings of Julie Hightman

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