Our internal walk through the world can leave us feeling separate, alone, alien, and unlike others for a variety of reasons. It is the nature of being an individual that brings recognition of being “apart” from others. At times, that sense of loneliness or solitude can seem to dilute and deter the experience of oneness we have the capacity to feel in connection with others. This oneness can be felt superficially or at great depths given the resonance of our acknowledged similarities with others. The way one projects their mental, emotional perceptions of loneliness, estrangement, independence, and individuality onto their experiences with others acts as a gating mechanism to the awareness of simultaneous individuation and oneness that is a primary foundation of human experience.
One defines their attributes of individuality as common or uncommon, conformed or non-conformed, unique or mundane with respect to other groups or people in society that define variations in culture and belief. On the road to discovering and refining the deepest and most raw elements that make us who we are, there is still the sense of a void or wall that says “I don’t fit in”, “They don’t really know me”, “I must hide these parts of myself”, “There is no one like me.” These thoughts tend to incite a devaluation or staunch preservation of the self we know within. That response may foster a greater disconnect or connection with the most intimate parts of ourselves, respectively.
How do moments of feeling different affect you? Do you attempt to share more or less of yourself with others? What does it mean to you to be rare? What does it mean to you to be seen?
Being seen as an individual is a strong doctrine in contemporary American Society, more so than many societies that still maintain the heritage of group identity in culture. The concept of group identity is still apparent in the western world, yet individuality supercedes it. Within the polarization, loneliness, depression, and suicide rate have increased significantly. Yet, over the ages, group identity enculturation has induced fear, secrecy, and dissatisfaction from a lack of feeling honest to oneself which also leads to loneliness that is obscured by the appearance of connection. Otherwise, persecution, rejection, and shaming for deterring from group norms would result.
It seems regardless of honoring the individual or the group identity, the capacity to have connection and be seen honestly within that relationship is where human consciousness is still evolving. Being seen for who you are by the congruence of your words and behaviors is a different experience internally than projecting how one wants to be seen. The internal and external sense of self must be aligned to truly honor oneself and feel the depth of connection with others that can be shared. Otherwise, the internal self will continually feel the lack of communal resonance that supports solidarity in the individuality of self. Therefore, the feeling of being alone and separate because one feels different or rare may be strongly driven by the lack of receptivity to being seen by others. It is also driven by the lack of acknowledgment and acceptance others offer that secures one’s experience of being seen and known through that connection, whether momentary or enduring.
How can you practice receptivity to being seen and seeing others for who they are beyond the group experience and within the group experience to establish more holistic connections in your life?
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