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Soul Contracts and Closure Beyond Grief and Loss

Updated: Jan 18, 2021

Throughout life we #RevealTheElements and identity of who we are and who we share life with. The relationship to ourselves and to others weaves into the fabric of our perceptions and challenges us to acknowledge that our #beliefs about ourselves and others dictate the #freedom, #fulfillment, and #security we have the ability to attain. The binding of beliefs and the lack of awareness in how we create and/or serve attachments to others directly relates to our intensity of and perpetuation of #grief or a sense of loss. Reaching #AStateOfClosure can be daunting when the maze of one’s mind and the perceived contractual obligations to self or others stands in the way.

#SoulContracts may be subconscious or #ConsciousAgreements with oneself or another made as a negotiated trade off. Every day we think about or act on agreements to be a part of one’s chosen lifestyle, to surrender to or endure external factors beyond one’s control, to feel #ConnectionWithOthers, to ignore or to face discomfort we feel, or to embrace and acknowledge the strength and contentment we have in our experience. Every day we choose to #AcceptOrResist the depth of connection one has to others and their actions or roles in our lives, from family, friends, work, and society.

The #agreements with self are the first contracts we make in the world as we unveil the feeling of what we have and have not agreed to in our journey of self-awareness. The agreements with others are secondary contracts that can only be fulfilled to the extent that one can remain true to the contracts with self and the capacity to which we have at all to any contract with self and others. This means beyond the idealism of what one wants to be capable of. #SoulContracts can be made consciously or unconsciously. The #UnconsciousAgreements can feel most insidious when it comes to perceived #bondage in an agreement to achieve the goal of whatever that contractual agreement dictates. Contractual agreements are defined by thoughts, feelings, and ideals blended with known principles, abilities, and realistic projections of one’s capacity to achieve the desired outcome. Knowing what that desired outcome is, is imperative to completing or absolving the contract and integrating or nullifying its purpose.

Some contracts are placed on us by others that we have not consciously agreed to. These are the most essential contracts to acknowledge, dissolve, and release oneself from. The perception that anyone has power over you or their demands of you are required to be fulfilled, is an illusion. The primary contracts with self will safeguard and clarify what one commands of themselves to assert their own will to break, deny, or dissolve the contracts others place upon them. This includes the conscious secondary agreements one makes with others that oppose one’s primary agreements with self.

The #PerceptionOfBondage to an agreement is based on emotional attachment that is exacerbated by confusion and/or cyclical tapes in the mind. #GriefAndLoss of connection, in #LifeAndDeath, is a prominent place where arguments with self and the re-negotiation of contracts with self and with others is played out. The circumstance of a dissolving relationship or experience in the death of a loved one can be overwhelming and confusing emotionally, driving an individual to hold on to certain contractual agreements that can no longer be fulfilled for the sake of an individuals desire to remain attached to the one lost. Moving #BeyondGriefAndLoss requires an individual to #EmbraceGratitude for what was shared and acknowledge the change of circumstance creating a sense of loss as an opportunity to continue on in life with the creative offerings bestowed upon them in the relationship. #FindingClarity in the agreements with self, integrating the accomplishments from secondary contracts with the one lost, and releasing residual contracts that were unfulfilled and can no longer be completed without the presence of both individuals are all a part of #SeekingClosure, in order to feel at ease with the new circumstances one finds themselves .

Experiencing grief and loss for another is an inseparable context for the acknowledgment of self and the opportunity to redefine one’s contracts with self and life. Grief and loss show us ourselves because the deepest wells of #suffering exist in the attachments of the mind we are faced with and often consumed by. One can be in #EmotionalBondage to themselves as much as they can be by agreement to another. The way to closure is through autonomy of self. #ChosenAgreements with self are the primary foundation of how one operates and applies these agreements to move effectively through a life of changing circumstance. Re-negotiation agreements is always an option, for better or worse. One must choose wisely with intentional awareness of their own will and capacity to meet their primary agreements with self and secondary agreements with others. Any #SoulContract may be accepted or absolved once the clarity of an individual’s realistic desire and ability to achieve the purpose of that contract is acknowledged.

When someone has died and is no longer present to demand contract fulfillment or maintain progress toward a desired dream made together, it is #TimeToRelease oneself of the contract and strengthen contracts with self to live forward. Closure is a step by step- day by day process of #RelinquishingAttachment. To relinquish attachment and the bondage of contracts to another is not devaluing or denial of #LoveAndAppreciation. The release of attachment is an act of self-empowerment that transforms the experience of loss, confusion, #guilt, #shame, and grief by offering an objective view that is realistic to the distance felt between oneself and another. Self- love, nourishment, and release of emotional bondage are all essential for self-empowerment, clarity, and peace in the wake of loss. They are acts of acknowledgement for the love, attentiveness, and #receptivity to share in the relationship one has put in, now returned to self. This is the #CycleOfLove, of exchange, of creativity, and #transformation.

Excerpts From the Writings of Julie Hightman

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