Humans love #connection. Even the generalized introvert finds comfort in connection one on one with select individuals. Connection and sharing of oneself can be valued in different ways. Some prefer quiet physical presence, others mental processing and reflection. Some feel connection with emotional or spiritual identification and many feel connection in all of these ways equally.
Connectivity to another or a group of others in community brings us feelings of comfort, confidence, exaltation, and #unity beyond separateness. #Loyalty in each connection may look different based on the foundation and cultivation of connection in simplistic or complex forms. Some individuals live by strict codes of loyalty to self and others, while some have no #code or flexible codes of loyalty based on their own degrees of life experience and #mindfulness. Conflict arises between loyalty and the connectivity of individuals or community relevant to the lack of adherence to a mutually agreed upon code or differing codes and values for self and others.
Assuming that #connection automates #loyalty in the same definition in which we perceive the code of loyalty and expectations within ourselves is a mistake often made. Without communication and display through experience one cannot be certain the loyalty they offer others will be reciprocated, especially where the context of loyalty is to be applied. The roles we take on for the world and others have a strong influence in our sense of constancy and adherence to a #code before we apply this to others in community. The depth of connection is unreliable to creating assumptions that values of loyalty are in agreement. Honest communication and outlining of our personal #integrity with self, vocally and by demonstration, is the clearest way of preparing a basis for expectation. This fortifies our #mindfulness of self and others seeking clarity about the foundation of the connection and its offerings. How embodied and reliable our power for bonding and loyalty is may only be edified by the constancy of our application through experiences with others over time. To make assumptions otherwise may bare the result of increased judgment and suffering that result in separation and loss of connection.
Throughout life, experiences will call on us to have greater #loyalty to oneself, at times and at other times, a more fortified loyalty to others. Negative experiences with others or self –destructive tendencies will challenge our sense of loyalty and connection to everything and perhaps cause a full deconstruction or reconstruction of one’s sense of dedication in all respects. Discerning our value in each #connection for its role in our lives dictates the degree and quantity of connections we acknowledge as meaningful. In the history of society, family blood has been primary in association of #code with respect to deep connections and loyalty. Beyond this, partnership and groups of individuals with common rituals and beliefs sequentially align to test our values, capacity for exchange, and foundations of loyalty. In today’s society, the break down of family structure, healthy relationship, and codes of expectation have shifted the reliance and alliance onto self and partnership, first and foremost, or to community groups with a common purpose. The lack of historical life experience and cultivation of code in developmental years has extended the time it takes to attain deep bonds of trust in the loyalty of others. Yet, in our #idealism or jadedness, assumptions are still often made.
Without #mindfulness and open #communication emotions of #betrayal and #desire for more than others display often take the lead in the fall out of expectations unmet. Conflictive or degrading communication through blaming or avoidance and passive aggression may ensue. The way to satisfying connections with others is through healthy communication and mindfulness of self. The way to resolve conflict from assumptions and #miscommunication is through assessing the desired outcome we seek; after the perceived value of that relationship has been made conscious. Then, strategizing ways to achieve that desirable outcome. Sometimes the most pertinent way is simply patience and inaction beyond judgment. Acknowledging that it may be most important for the other in relationship to be in #connection and #loyalty with their needs at this time is a compassionate offering that may fortify the depth of the connection itself.
Discernment of how to proceed in resolving inner conflict over the feelings of separateness or a failure to meet expectations by other(s) requires a review of one’s #PersonalCode. This includes the code of loyalty, #CompassionateConnection for self and other, and one’s capacity to embrace the different seasons of life the timeline of connection to others brings. The most harmonious and creative way to approach the foundational development and phases of reconstruction in our values of connection and #loyalty is to lead by example in our dedication to a clear code. Communicating this to oneself and others in the face of fresh or established expectation is essential. #Mindfulness of assumptions we make and assessment of expectations others state or enact by application to us is imperative to the clarity of an operable code connection is founded in. The persistence of values may be maintained as each individual aligns through shared experiences, cultivating a sense of unity and the power to create together for longevity.
When challenges and change arise, the strength of #integrity in the #code of connection acts like a pillar of stability to secure one’s emotional, mental, and spiritual states during the process of transformation. The offering of stability and connection is a sacred gift in the many storms life brings. The experience of #unity #BeyondSeparateness and #trust beyond doubt may be the primary elements that fortify the survival of individual potency, thus humanity, and the #AlchemyOfSoul.
An Excerpt from the writings of Julie Hightman