#Devotion is loving dedication. Honest, intentional, realistic devotion maintains the intent to support one another in the context of a #ChangingWorld and a changing relationship within that world. The old adage “Nothing stays the same” is directly relevant to any individual who holds sacred the ideology that devotion in love means your agreements and roles are only and forever the same as when you entered the agreement. #Devotion in love as an agreement is not binding because devotion is something you create and re-create through exchange with yourself and with someone else. Devotion to self is as important in a relationship as one’s devotion for another and for the relationship.
To offer loving support and encouragement or celebration of another is a #CodeOfDevotion that values and honors the path that every individual is working out and deciding upon in their progression through life. Unconditional love and support is consistent in its acceptance that the one supporting the other is not in control of that person’s choices or the outcomes from those choices. It also offers the kind of support that comes without demand or control of the other person to be or choose what another wants of and for them. The place where this conditionality is most easily witnessed is in the closest relationships one shares. Partners, children, lovers, family, and best friends, in this order respectively, each create an opportunity to assess and apply one’s principles of conditional and unconditional love. It is #HumanNature to subconsciously presume that these types of relationships are extensions of ourselves or directly influence our thoughts and actions around principles for life and connection. The cause and effect of conditional love is that it begets more conditional love. The question remains: Does conditional love create true respect and devotion for another or is it only the illusion of respect dictated by the framework of agreements that demand #dedication and #respect? How can one offer and receive respect without demanding or needing to control the agreement?
This is the point and offering of unconditional love. Embracing a #CodeOfLove as a part of the exchange that honors what we witness in others and supports them by communicating effectively through problem solving to reach mutual decisions for a relationship creates natural appreciation and builds respect. Effective communication that expands consideration of choices for others without attachment to it being “our way” advocates the inspiration and re-creation of devotion. This approach contrasts greatly in the long-term struggles of identity and #mutuality in relationship. It is the difference between demanding #dedication and controlling the agreement with inviting devotion and sharing the merit of each other’s experiential #desires.
To be clear, conditional love is not a bad thing, nor is conditional or unconditional love a single choice in how to practice love. Conditional love is an essential part of understanding one’s personal needs and wants and perceiving to what extent others are capable of meeting those demands. Conditional love creates protective boundary from certain undesired experiences that unconditional love does not. Yet, unconditional love is the seed of one’s deepest #desires to be valued beyond all reason. It is the foundation of perpetuating connection with others so that we are not alone or pushed to the “me against the world” cynicism that is devoid of feeling loved and valued by others. Unconditional love provides a doorway in our confined experiences of the analytical machine we call mind. It softens the fortress one builds around themselves as they create more and more conditions through life upon themselves and others. This doorway is the one we, as children, walk through and children remind us of it. Unconditional love is a natural experience until defined otherwise by perceptions in the mind that create the opportunity to problem solve during the tidal exchange of circumstance and how we manifest our ideals of connection in life.
#BuildingABridge in the concepts of conditional love that supports unconditional love for #IntentionalFulfillment, is just as essential as applying unconditional love to support the modulation of applied conditions for healthy boundaries in lieu of a commanding fortress. The offering of unconditional love and the intentional awareness of how conditional love effects outcomes of #devotion in love, over time, is essential to effective co-creation and perpetuation of devotion in every relationship. Devotional love is not given freely by demands and control. It is inspired by invitation and requests.
Excerpts from the Writings of Julie Hightman