When #conflict arises, how we handle it has everything to do with the outcome. Meeting conflict with #IntenseReactivity only perpetuates the experience of #dissonance, argumentation, and the #pressure for #divergence without #resolve. An individual may resolve to avoid, discard, or defer the moment of conflict but this choice hardly ever leads to true resolution with #clarity and #closure about the experience in the heart and mind. #Communication offers understanding, #acknowledgment, and co-creative strategies for ultimate closure. #CompassionateCommunication enables a healthy path to #mediation of differences established with intention to clarifying, healing, and #SupportingAllInvolved to seek #MutualFulfillment in the outcome of an experience. This is applicable even if going separate ways or #AgreeingToDisagree are a part of the outcome decisions.
Common #strategies to #ResolvingConflict may include submitting, apologizing even when we feel its unnecessary, clarifying one’s role in a disagreement and other’s involved, shutting down and refusing to communicate, attacking other(s) in the disagreement repeatedly without acknowledging their feelings or thoughts, attempts to manipulate others to submit to us, and choosing attitudes of self-righteousness which polarize an individual’s position further in an effort to defend oneself from receiving the beliefs or statements of another as credible. Strategies for #CompassionateCommunication include requesting time to consider the nature of the conflict, responding with acknowledgment for the experience of others in the disagreement, #allowing more than one perception of a situation to have #credibility, using tone and language in an openhearted, receptive, honoring, and #intentional way to #FindHarmony and release that serves all involved. In any attempt for resolution or experience of #resistance it is imperative to acknowledge that each individual processes information differently and has their own #BlindSpots when it comes to #AwarenessOfSelf, #AwarenessOfOthers, and awareness of the factors related to the nature of a conflict. When disagreement or resistance occurs which #strategy do you often align with? Does the strategy change dependent on your orientation to a disagreement? Why is this the way you react or respond when dissonance happens?
Questioning the root of how one responds to conflict, resistance, and opportunities to consider the differences between others and self is key to understanding who you are and if you like who you are by witnessing those relative responses. Clarifying the origin of one’s #values and #validating those values aside from the imprints and influences that may have caused one’s attachment to those values is also a #keystone to #AligningWithIntegrity and #authenticity. Assessing how to modify one’s approach to conflict with self and others in a compassionate way allows for #QuickerResolutions and #HolisticClosure with #transmutation of inflictions or projected imprints derived from moments of disharmony. With practice, frequency and intensity of conflicts will decrease and be evident in how an individual responds to #resistance and #disagreements. This is applicable to internal and external conflicts of the mind and heart in this experience of #BeingHuman.
Being intentional with our words and meaning what we say to ourselves and to others is the path to greater #harmony and #CreativeSolutions when misunderstanding, conflictive perceptions of a situation, #DifferingValues, and emotional intensity are present. The experience of #anger, #guilt, #resentment, and #regret sit heavily on the mind and heart, manifesting physically as ailments or disease. These undertones of #ThoughtAndEmotion are relevant in #LackOfClosure and continual conflict. The ratio of conflict and holistic closure in one’s life is a direct #reflection of the strategies utilized to #EndResistance. Which is more important to you, the #GoalToWin or the #GoalForPeace? Compassionate communication originates and upholds the intention for both, for all involved. There is a #balance between defining the #DifferencesAndBeliefs in oneself and with honoring the perceptions others upheld in themselves #CreatingResistance. There is a balance in defending one’s #PersonalBoundaries and accepting the needs and wants of others. There is not one #authority, one #truth, or one sense of #RightOrWrong in a shared experience. #Agreements are made with #OpenCommunication and receptivity to the #wisdom each carries to align with their most #AuthenticSelf and to share that with others.
Willingness to learn through communication and have #patience for every individual to process the opportunities to perceive #SomethingGreater within self and utilize it to achieve #HealthierStrategies for #fulfillment in life is a gift to self and to others. Conflict may be painful in undefined or very evident ways but suffering beyond the pain of conflict is perpetuated because of poor strategies in communication, unwillingness to learn from experience, and a lack of resolve for healthy fulfillment. Seek the will to #compassion when conflict arises. Harness the #OpportunityToHeal and to grow for self and with others. #ChooseTransmutation over suffering and learn to wield the staff of a mentor with the pen of a student.
Excerpts from the Writings of Julie Hightman