Re-activating Desire and What it Means to Want

#BetweenWorlds

There are times in our lives where profound losses, long periods of struggle with multilayered challenges, or personal degradation seem to take away or cover over our impetus for desire. A sense of what is wanted is often wrapped up and dictated by one’s capacity to #desire something at all. There are also times of life associated with specific ages where the #culmination of experience, longer historical review, and reckonings with one’s status of health, security, and fulfillment are more consistently assessed. These periods start, more commonly, at mid-life into the decades of eldership. Those seasons of a life tend to flow differently within the mind, heart, and body, creating opportunity to review perspectives and outcomes of previous choices and circumstances we can no longer ignore or be distracted from. Although, attention and #awareness to these reviews for perspective may be done, more or less, at any time in one’s life.

            A loss of desire may present as #apathy, #indifference, actively shutting down to what one feels is unattainable or no longer available, or as an intentional practice of detachment to feel #liberated from desire. Apathy requires a numbness that is derived from perceived defeats and depression that consumes the heart. Indifference is a state of neutrality that is open to receive what may be desired but without requirement for it or attachment to specific wants that structure the sustainability for desire, if fulfilled. Actively shutting down desire when believing something is unattainable or unavailable is an act of self-protection from the disappointment one fears by maintaining that desire. Choosing detachment from desire as a practice is typically related to seeking a deeper embodiment with the divine path beyond the suffering of the human experience, which is often described as liberation from earthly impulses. Each of these coping mechanisms or skills in practice create trade-offs in our experience of #belonging, #connection, #purpose, and perceptions of self for who we are in the world as we live in it. Acknowledging these trade-offs is essential in the assessment of whether we know and embody contentment.

            Desire is not just about longing or sexual interest. It is interwoven into the DNA of our creative self. It is born from a connection between the loins and the heart. It is a messenger of motivation to act, to create, and to endure. Lacking desire and a sense of want creates a void or perceived emptiness in self and in one’s life where that lack of interest is relevant. If too many areas of one’s life and care for self lack desire, the voids merge into an abyss and cause the loss of self-identity, self-recognition, and self-direction. Reclaiming the power of desire and igniting passion for #creativity within, is the only way to regain the parts of self lost.

            When a re-activation occurs in the desire one has the capacity to feel within, for where that desire is relevant, understanding wants and the trade-offs of fulfilling or unfulfilling outcomes in those wants is the next stage of contemplation. This period of contemplation recalibrates the pattern of impulses and directive for what we desire and how one uses that momentum to create. What is created defines the space where a void once was and has a ripple effect on self-fulfillment, self-recognition, and future unfoldings of self-direction with continued receptivity to desire’s potency. Creation feeds creation. This is the spark that fortifies one’s connection to life as an active part of it. Endings and losses will always be a part of that transformative cycle. Embracing the alchemy of it enables a mindset for learning and cultivation of our own essence. Just as a state of surrender may mean one’s real or metaphorical death, it may also mean liberation and release to honor the void in between the next creation. This is only possible with the impetus of desire. This is important to understand because when desire within is being re-activated and what one creates does not have the outcome one seeks, it is much easier to shut down desire or fall back into a void space that leads to further disconnection with one’s personal power to create.

            Once desire is reclaimed, the opportunity to reveal and evaluate wants vs. needs, how these may be at odds with one another or not mutually exclusive, and personal values associated with one’s sense of what they want can be clarified. This revealing process is a key part of self-awareness, self-tending, and self-discovery. From here circumstances develop for choices to be applied with more opportunities for personal growth in the practice of fulfillment. The practice of balanced #attachment and #detachment is also applicable on this journey to reclaim one’s power of desire and initiative to create with a sense of purpose. Sorting wants and needs is a primary component of discerning levels of healthy attachment or detachment for each individual according to their own sense of self-identity and life circumstances.

            There is an old Chinese #proverb about a humble beggar seen smiling on the street. Even in his bereft appearance, his joy for living and simple appreciations of life each day inspire him and his heart is always full. He represents the embodiment of an enlightened sage. In contrast, a rich man in the story is dissatisfied and perpetually seeking material gain to fill a void he cannot satiate. One embraces emptiness from a place of healthy detachment knowing his appearance does not define him. The other rejects a sense of emptiness and by paradox is bound to it in his attachments to what never fulfills. This simplified example of extremes depicts a teaching on attention and perception. The values we place on desire dictate the wants we give energy to. This defines who we are and the lives we lead in the interest of #fulfillment. 

            On the path of fulfillment, there are times in a life and there are stages of being in the roles one takes on that contentment is found. These can be profound times of self-reflection and outward generosity with others or periods of disinterest for exchange with others and insidious inertia. Less wants and needs to be fulfilled shifts the impetus of desire and the call to create something new, depending on the identity and drive of the individual. This is relevant to their perceptions of life values and meaning. How long does #contentment last without the inspiration of desire and creativity to re-inform it with an act that brings fulfillment?

            Elders moving through the end stages of their lives become quiet whisperers when content and no longer feeling a sense of purpose. Their embrace of death becomes total with less and less connection through shared #creativity and moments of fulfillment for self and with others. Those who are not content may present as dark and dissatisfied with voices of anger that are hard to ignore. Others walk the line of embracing #emptiness and contentment, operating as ever curious beings, delighted for what they still have yet to discover with laughter that gives hope to those witnessing their own lives as they age. Which one of these reflects your authentic self and ignites your desire to pursue?

            Excerpts from the Writings of Julie Hightman